Wednesday, January 18, 2012
The Master of Clichés
You can love him or hate him but you cannot ignore him (another Cliché!) – he is the master of commentary – no matter which channel you tune in – ESPNStar, Ten or Neo – he is always there. He came to the commentary scene in 1994 during the Sri Lanka tri-series when he announced to the world that “He took retirement coz he was not getting any younger”. He is accused of being a stooge of the BCCI and he forms the infamous ‘Desi Trio’ with Gavaskar and Bhogle. He is none other than Shastriji – here are some of his scratch-your-head-and-pull-your-eyes-out and repeated-like-gramaphone-record Clichés:
• Ball is not coming on to the bat
• Pitch Report - I would not be surprised if the odd ball keeps low on this surface
• It was set up like a cat among pigeons
• He is kind of a player who can take the attack to the opposition
• [Name of the captain] knows that this is the time to tighten the screws on [opposition team]
• This is what the doctor ordered
• As a batsman he knows exactly where his leg stump is
• A shot of spectators (especially a girl amused on seeing herself on the big screen) – Hmmm ..She is enjoying it
• Pre-Match – There is not a single vacant seat in this stadium OR It is housefull at the [name of the stadium] here
• That went like a tracer bullet
• [Name of the captain] knows exactly what he is doing
• A good thing about him is that he bowls within himself
• That came right out of screws
• He is a street-smart cricketer
• Had the ball hit the stumps, it would have been touch-and-go
• Post-match (high scoring ODI game) – Ladies and Gentlemen, we witnessed a great match today. More than [a big number like 600 or 650] runs were scored. In the end, you have to say that the team that held its nerve won.
• Post-match (very close ODI game) – Ladies and Gentlemen, we had a cracker of a match today. At the end of the day, one would say that there had to be a winner and [winning team] were up to the task but spare a thought for the [losing team]
• Post match (one-sided ODI game) – A thoroughly professional performance by the [winning team] OR [Losing team] were completely outplayed by the [winning team]
-@JayBisnik
• Ball is not coming on to the bat
• Pitch Report - I would not be surprised if the odd ball keeps low on this surface
• It was set up like a cat among pigeons
• He is kind of a player who can take the attack to the opposition
• [Name of the captain] knows that this is the time to tighten the screws on [opposition team]
• This is what the doctor ordered
• As a batsman he knows exactly where his leg stump is
• A shot of spectators (especially a girl amused on seeing herself on the big screen) – Hmmm ..She is enjoying it
• Pre-Match – There is not a single vacant seat in this stadium OR It is housefull at the [name of the stadium] here
• That went like a tracer bullet
• [Name of the captain] knows exactly what he is doing
• A good thing about him is that he bowls within himself
• That came right out of screws
• He is a street-smart cricketer
• Had the ball hit the stumps, it would have been touch-and-go
• Post-match (high scoring ODI game) – Ladies and Gentlemen, we witnessed a great match today. More than [a big number like 600 or 650] runs were scored. In the end, you have to say that the team that held its nerve won.
• Post-match (very close ODI game) – Ladies and Gentlemen, we had a cracker of a match today. At the end of the day, one would say that there had to be a winner and [winning team] were up to the task but spare a thought for the [losing team]
• Post match (one-sided ODI game) – A thoroughly professional performance by the [winning team] OR [Losing team] were completely outplayed by the [winning team]
-@JayBisnik
