Shenanigans

In the last few days, I had the pleasure of interacting with two kinds of people – the original non-Indian Singaporeans (whom I will call X for no reason) and the Indians, who are living in Singapore for past few years and doing some white-collared jobs (who will be called Y).

Xs are fun-loving people who love to try some new thing or the other whenever they get a chance (which is quite rare since they have limited choices in a small place like Singapore). And yeah ….. they love to shop. They shop, shop and shop more. Its like a hobby for most of them. The shopping malls are crowded mostly by female Xs, some of whom sometimes wake up at 6 AM in the morning to avail of the early morning sale. By the way, female Xs always don all the hep attire that is available in the market. I wonder how big their wardrobe would be to accommodate all that fashionable paraphernalia. Xs also love to try different kind of cuisines. I was amazed to see some of the Indian food joints crowded by Xs.

Now for my favorite part - the traits of Ys. So let Ys speak for themselves. Here are some excerpts:
“When I went to India few years ago, it took me 30 minutes to cross a road”.
“India has a very low standard of living”.
“I love Singapore. Even if somebody gives me double this salary in India, I won’t even think of moving there”.
“There is so much crime in India. I am terrified of walking on Indian streets even in broad daylight. Here in Singapore, ladies can walk on the streets at midnight also”.
“Unlike India, everything is so orderly in Singapore”.
“India is the most corrupt country”.

So the choice is yours – will you rather be an X in your own country or a Y?


P.S.:
An advice to Ys – I have no problem in your praising Singapore or any other country you live in BUT for god sake please don’t sully the name of India by your comments (especially in front of foreigners/Xs). It’s a great country and some people consider it as their home.

In many ways Singapore is like Chennai – with its hot-humid climate and Tamil hoardings and so many tamilians. At the airport we were greeted by a rude taxi-driver who cribbed about us bringing those big bags. The reason – they were not fitting in the boot of his car. What solution did he come up with? To our shock, he came up with what we call as an Indian jugaad (there is no English equivalent to it). He tied the half-open cover of the boot with a cycle-tube.

I spent the afternoon in the cozy hotel room catching up with all the lost sleep. In the night, we went to a place called “Little India” to have some food. After that ordeal with those noodles, I decided to be less adventurous and opted for a good old masala-dosa. Calling home (to tell the anxious parents that I was well) was another tough job. After buying a calling-card, I had to call a toll-free number to India. I tried but the machine-voice on the other side spoke in Tamil. From my limited knowledge of tamil, I guessed that she was telling me to dial the number but even after dialing she told me to do something else which I had no idea. I got frustrated and felt like kicking that damn public phone. Finally, a kind soul helped me out by acting as an interpreter and he told me that the voice was telling me to hold-on!!!

The Thai air-hostesses were looking great in their traditional outfits on the Thai airlines flight from Bangkok to Singapore, which was nearly full. I was really sleepy and wanted a good bed to sleep but got a seat near the toilet. This time me and Rishabh got seats far away and an Indian guy from Kanpur was sitting besides me. We were talking some stuff when the steward interrupted him to ask in thai-nglish “Did you order a Hindoo meal?”
“Yes but is it veg?”, the guy replied.
“veg? what is veg?”
“veg means vegetarian”, I interrupted.
“I donno Sir but I will inquire.”
Two thing to notice here. Firstly, I did not know what the hell a hindoo meal was. Secondly, people here have no idea what vegetarian is!!!
Finally he got a meal with “Hindoo meal” written on the top. I was given a meal with “Asia Vegetarian” sticker but I was more interested in peeping over to see the so-called hindoo meal. It had some yellow rice and curry; nothing much interesting there. But the interesting thing was yet to be opened. Yes, it was my meal. My smelling glands were not stirred so much as when I took off the aluminum lid off the box. It was the most obnoxious smell one can get from food and I felt like throwing up. It was some kind of noodles and I sealed the box and prayed that the box should be taken away as soon as possible. This nagging smell was so strong that even after reaching the hotel I found it sticking to my clothes and inside the cabin-luggage. In the end, I was craving for that thing called the hindoo meal !!!!

So here I am …. Sitting in the waiting lounge of Bangkok international airport looking at some new faces and listening to all kinds of languages. Well, I am waiting for my connecting flight to Singapore. This airport is huge – it has this really long duty-free shopping alley (if I may say so) and they have made sure that everyone passes through it atleast once. There are many things that grabbed my attention here. Firstly, the mammoth airport staff – there are thousands of them – wearing those smart light blue coats and speaking that thai-nglish. Secondly, women outnumber men here. Whether in shops or security check-in, females are everywhere. I wonder where all men are!!! Even when I went to the men’s restroom, there was a female doing some cleaning stuff. Thirdly, all women are very thin (why??).

Going back to yesterday’s flight from Bangalore, it was a routine affair till we went into the transfer section of the Bangkok airport. And then I felt thirsty. I went from one corner of the airport to another but could not find any sign of “water”. This was the first indication that I was in an alien land. Perhaps they did not have the concept of free water that we have in India. Next, I went to one of the shops and asked for a bottle of water. The lady asked for bhats only. After a while I found a guy who said that he would give me a bottle for 5 SGD (that was the only currency I had apart from INR). That came out to be 130 indian bucks for one bottle of water. Surely that was the costliest water I have ever had !!!!